Love and kindness is what draws people in :) So, in my opinion, the polite route is the best way to speak to a person. When someone says, “you want to do something,” they are asking you :) When you say, “you should do something,” you are politely telling them to do something. Does this help?
Advice words: 'would, could, should, may, might, must, can, could, ought.' They all indicate that a directive (advice) will follow. The softest words in the group are may, might, can, could. People say, "you might want to . . ." / "you may want to consider . . . " / "you can try . . ." / "you could consider . . ." When we want to soft-shoe or soft-pedal something to someone, we use those words. It's like putting a foot in a shoe with a shoe horn, easing it in softly. If we want to be bossy, we use harsher words; would, could, should, must, ought ~ "You'd be better off if you would . . ." "You could save yourself a lot of trouble if you . . ." "You should . . " You must . . "You ought to . . . " and one that isn't on the list but is used a lot for children: "You'd better . . ."